By Denise Rachel
Ask yourself: what lengths would you go to help your own beloved child? How would you respond if your kid needed critical care that could be taken away by a political whim?
When my child was 14, she left a note on the table for me to find the next morning. It read, in part:
“Mommy, I have always felt like a girl trapped in a boy’s body. I am transgender. When you wake up and find this, please do not kick me out of the house.”
Thus began our long journey into this new reality of activism, a journey I never imagined for that blessed baby I brought home 14 years ago.
Despite what you may have read on social media, no parent (or teacher, for that matter) pushes their child to be transgender or nonbinary. No one wants their kid’s life to be harder than it has to be. No parent envisions a future for their kid that’s filled with discriminaton and meanspiritedness. Think about that for a minute. Accepting parents of transgender kids love and empower their children.
We are striving to provide them with a loving and supportive childhood in a world that often hates them.
In the wake of the death of Nex Benedict, a nonbinary child who was relentlessly bullied and died after an altercation in an Oklahoma bathroom, I feel myself on a precipice. Politely, I have waited for decent people to call out transphobia. Patiently, I have waited for society to recognize my child’s humanity. Respectfully, I have waited for politicians and advocacy groups to step up and demand that the transgender and nonbinary community be given the rights and protections they should not even need to beg for.
Today, I am here to say that I will no longer allow myself to dangle from the precipice without a safety net. I am no longer willing to be polite, patient, nor respectful. Enough is enough. No more words. I need to see action. Specifically, New Jersey needs to codify Gender-Affirming Care now.
With other states across the country dehumanizing transgender people through legislation on a daily basis, we see what can happen if complacency is allowed to fester. New Jersey has the opportunity to become a model for civil rights, decency, and the right of parents to raise their children in accordance with their needs.
Gender-affirming care is essential to the lives of transgender people. Forget the bogus statistics and mean-spirited claims extremists post for clicks on social media to make money. I have seen its effects first-hand. It saved my daughter’s life. No amount of claims it has done harm by unknowing strangers will ever convince me otherwise because I have seen it happen with my own beautiful child.
Gratefully, some allies have stepped forward in our state government. Senator Theresa Ruiz is always an advocate to the LGBTQ + community. And, from personal experience, Senator Andrew Zwicker is exemplary. He has listened intently to my fears, been a voice of hope when I’m overwhelmed , and stepped up to meet any challenge the community has asked of him. I will be forever thankful.
However, we need more politicians standing up for what is right. We need a solid gender- affirming bill. We need sponsors and cosponsors now and for the legislation to NOT languish in committee like good bills often do in Trenton.
And, we need professional advocacy orgs to step up or get out of the way.
As a mom, I implore all parties to take a seat at the table.
The time for gender affirming care is now, not during lame duck or after the primary. The time is now.
Lastly, for anyone reading this who may not be swayed by my words, remember, I was once unaware that I had a transgender child until the day that I was. Ask yourself: what lengths would you go to help your own beloved child? How would you respond if your kid needed critical care that could be taken away by a political whim?
Please codify gender-affirming care now!
Denise Rachel is an advocate for transgender equality based in Monmouth County.
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In recent years, there has been a growing awareness and acceptance of the LGBTQ community in Trenton, New Jersey. However, despite progress being made in terms of LGBTQ rights and visibility, there is still much work to be done to ensure the safety and well-being of LGBTQ individuals, especially children.
One crucial aspect of creating a more inclusive and supportive environment for LGBTQ youth in Trenton is the presence of allies. LGBTQ allies are individuals who support and advocate for the rights and well-being of LGBTQ people, even if they are not members of the community themselves. Allies play a crucial role in creating a more accepting and welcoming society for LGBTQ individuals, particularly young people who may be vulnerable to discrimination and harassment.
One of the key reasons why allies are so important in Trenton is because they can help to challenge harmful stereotypes and misconceptions about LGBTQ individuals. By speaking out against discrimination and advocating for LGBTQ rights, allies can help to create a more positive and affirming environment for LGBTQ youth to grow up in. This can have a significant impact on the mental health and well-being of LGBTQ children, who may face higher rates of bullying, depression, and suicide compared to their heterosexual peers.
Additionally, allies can also help to provide support and resources for LGBTQ youth who may be struggling with their identity or facing discrimination. By offering a listening ear, a safe space, or practical assistance, allies can help to create a sense of community and belonging for LGBTQ individuals who may feel isolated or marginalized.
In order to create a more inclusive and supportive environment for LGBTQ youth in Trenton, it is crucial that allies step up and take action. This can involve speaking out against discrimination, advocating for LGBTQ rights, supporting LGBTQ organizations and events, and educating others about the importance of acceptance and inclusion.
Ultimately, the presence of allies in Trenton is essential for protecting the rights and well-being of LGBTQ children. By standing up for equality and justice, allies can help to create a more inclusive and affirming society for all individuals, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. It is time for all members of the Trenton community to come together and work towards a future where all children can grow up feeling safe, supported, and loved, regardless of who they are or who they love.
